This is a rockingly intense week emotionally, as we head towards the new Moon in Cancer on Thursday. Not only the sun and moon, but also Mars and Mercury are congregating in the super-sensitive sign of the crab and will be opposed by deep, dark, transformative Pluto. There are some other rather tricky planetary fisticuffs which add to the picture as well this week, but suffice to say… emotions are already, or will be coming up for a lot of us, which may not be entirely comfortable.
Those troublesome, irritating little feelings of “off-ness” or “not-so-goodness”, are just the tip of the iceberg. Underneath, if we do some deep sea diving, we may discover beauties like anger, sadness, grief, rage or fear, which are trying to get our attention. And… as usual, we have the choice to feel them or to beat them into submission… guess which one works better?
I speak from personal experience, after waking up yesterday morning feeling absolutely, completely rotten emotionally… for no real rhyme or reason (that I could analyse anyway). But there it was – this heavy feeling – like thick grey lead jelly in my heart centre. Much as I tried (and I really did try) to ignore it, the feeling just wasn’t going away and I couldn’t get myself together to get on with all the pressing things I had to do.
SO! … I elected to stop everything and honour what I was feeling, allowing it to just be there or to even expand if necessary. After a short while of sitting quietly, the tears began to roll and before I knew it, they were flowing like the Victoria Falls. I hung in there and not long afterwards, the sobs started to subside and the lead jelly started to melt a little. Then there was what felt like a gentle voice (I don’t actually hear anything) telling me that it was all ok, that I was fine and I would survive. After a while, a couple of answers to some pressing questions started to drift into my consciousness too – without any effort. I asked what I could do to support myself and the answer was – “Make some tea Michelle”… which I did.
A few minutes later, I was getting on with my day, feeling a whole lot lighter. Do I know what caused the heaviness? Not really. Do I need to know? No I don’t. Did I need to just feel it? Yes I did. Is that feeling gone? Not completely – but it’s changed. And if it comes back, I know what to do.
If there was ever a time to ride the wave of emotion, this is it. Many of us are feeling the angst and suffering of Mother Earth and humanity right now, in addition to our own. According to Matt Kahn, each time we are able to feel a feeling without censorship, we’re helping to transmute it, not only for ourselves, but for mankind. A few tears for Mother Earth – I can do that!.
Themes that are likely to present themselves this week, are issues around security, money, home, family, tribe, women and/or our mothers.
I see this as a time of radical self care. If you feel insecure, needy, inadequate, sad or full of rage, sit it with it or express it outwards –dance it, sing it, paint it, if it’s anger, hitting a pillow really helps. Then ask yourself how best you can show up for yourself. Maybe that means cooking yourself a warm nourishing meal, sitting next to a fire (or a heater in my case – with a beanie on), or perhaps its connecting with the people who love you, taking a nap, or having a hot bath. What would you advise your best friend, lover or child to do if they were in distress – do that!
Every single time we abandon or berate ourselves, we deplete our energetic and emotional tanks. Every time we value and love ourselves, we fill them up. All our tanks need filling and this is the time to do it. The fuller our individual tanks are, the more love we have to give.
With you in the Ocean